[HEIGHTS OF REVENGE][DOUBLE DECKER BUS ][CHANDIGARH OR JALANDHAR][SARDAR THIEF][PROFESSOR SARDAR][Brain Tumor][COLOR TV][CROCODILE BOOTS][LONG FLIGHT][TRAIN TO LUDHIANA][And More and more and more..]

Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to spend sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same every time he tries to sleep, one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound "guooonn, guooonn."He getsvery irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge. Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "soja machchar, bete soja". After some time he finds the mosquito falling in to deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says "Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."

Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared? I was enjoying my ride down there?" Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver.  

Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane. He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as the sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady. After some time the old lady came and requested the sardarji to leave the side seat. But the sardaji told: "I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave". The old lady then complained to the air hostess. The air hostess came and requested the sardarji to leave that seat. But sardarji was adament and didnot leave. Then the air hostess went and told the asst capt. He also came and requested, but in vain. Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the sardarji, and the sardarji immedietly left theside seat and returned to the middle seat. Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. capt. asked the capt. what he told to the sardarji. Capt. replied "nothing. I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others will go to Jalandhar."

Santa Singh was shifting his residence. He was packing his belongings. By midnight hewas too tired and dozed off with the house door open. A sound woke him up. A thief was packing valuables. Banta Singh found it very amusing; the thief was doing the job for him! "When this smart guy finishes packing, I will catch him". Banta was a hefty guy; so when the burglar finished packing, Banta Singh jumped on him and tied him up. Then he went to the police station and reported the matter. "What did you do to the thief"? "I tied his hands; you come and collect him". "I hope you tied his legs too". Banta Singh felt a cold feeling in his spine; he had forgotten about the legs. He sat down for a while. Then he cheered up and said, "Inspector Sab, the thief, he will still be there". "How do you know"? "Well, that fellow is also a Sardarji".

Sardar Singh was very keen on doing his Ph.D. He was in search of a subject on which no one did any research before! As he was thinking over it, he found a cockroach on the table in from of him. He decided instantly to do a research on the roach. He picked the roach and put it in the centre of the table and said "Run". The roach ran. He pulled out one leg of the roach, put it again in the centre of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran. He pulled one more leg of the roach, put it again in the centre of the table and said "Run". The roach ran. This way the roach tried to run even when it had just one leg. He pulled last leg of the roach, put it again in the centre of the table and said "Run". The roach could not! Our Professor was satisfied with his study and started writing his thesis "When you pull out all the legs of a roach, it cannot hear anymore".

Here's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its a marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, "Singh Saab, aap ka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?".....comes the reply,"Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! aj paheli bar ek sardar "brain" tumour se mara hai!!!"

Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?" "Sure." "Give me a green one, please."

Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefeet!" 

LONG FLIGHT

Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?" "Just a sec," comes an answer "Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up! 

TRAIN TO LUDHIANA

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station. Hari Singh asks the clerk "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?" "No," answers the Railway man. "Can I?" asks Gani Singh.

And More and more and more..

This Sardarji goes to the doctor and says: 'Doc, I ache all over. Everywhere I touch it hurts.' The doctor says: 'OK. Touch your elbow.' The Sardarji touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain. The doctor, surprised, says: 'Touch your head.' The Sardarji touches his head and jumps in agony. The doctor asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens. Everywhere the Sardar touches it hurts like hell. The doctor is stumped and orders a complete examination with x-rays, etc. and tells the Sardar to come back in two days. Two days later the Sardar comes back and the doctor says 'We've found your problem'. Sardarji: 'Oh yeah? What is it?' The doc 'You've broken your finger!'

Sardar Santa Singh is appearing for his Univ. final examination which consists of Y/N type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet-Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches Santa and asks what is going on. "Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour". "But yaar", he says, " I am rechecking my answers."  

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Santa was going by train from Delhi to Bombay. He kept getting off at every station to buy a ticket till the next station. When thetrain reached Delhi, Santa's co-passengers asked him why he kept on buying tickets instead of buying a ticket for the entire journey. Santa replied, "My doctor advised me against going on a long journey all at once !".

Santa Singh was nailing shingles on the house. Banta Singh noticed that he was throwing about half the nails away, and asked him why. "Because," said Santa, "the heads are on the wrong ends." "Well, you dope," said Banta, "those are for the other side of the house."

Santa & Banta went hunting. Santa shot at a duck, and when it fell at his feet he felt bad that the little duck had died when he shot it. Banta quickly said, "Oh, don't feel so bad. The fall would have killed it anyway."

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The Sardarni asked her lover, Santa Singh "Santa Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?" "Sure" replied Santa "What's your phone number?"

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Banta Singh went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?" "Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!" "Oh! How nice it would be," said Banta with joy, "I have been illiterate for so long."

Santa Singh was brought to court on charges of Drunken Driving. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order." Santa immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."

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Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."

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This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai." Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, Patahai ki cinema hai, lekin woh to janwar hai, usko kya pata"  

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Mr.Jaswant singh went to a grocery stores collected the grocery and came to the counter and person at the counter started preparing bill for the items. Singh asked "Where is the fat?" The person didn't understand what Singh was saying and said "Excuse me sir, FAT???" Sardar: "Yes Fat, Give me the fat" Sardar started shouting and arguing with the person and all people gathered and Manager of that grocery stores came there and asked Sardar about the problem. Then sardar said "Hey Manager look, I took a yogurt from your stores and it was written 'FAT FREE' on that but this guy is not giving me the fat.

Friend to Santa: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! Santa: Well I quite like them, I've got another pair of the same at home..........

Son to Santa: Papa can you tell me five FEROCIOUS animals you can think of? Santa: 3 Lions and 2 Tigers...  

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SURD #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?" SURD #2: "No, who wrote it?" What about the surd wife who gave birth to twins? Her husband is out looking for the other man.

SURD:"Excuse me sir, what time is it?" MAN:"It's 3:15." SURD:(puzzled look on his face)"You know, it's the weirdest hing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

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Two surds observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger: Surd#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Surd#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!  

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Santa Singh and Banta singh are sitting in a bar sipping Black Label Johnny walker when Banta Singh noticed a gorgeous blonde sitting by herself in a corner. As he was getting up to talk to her. Bar Tender said "Hey don't worry about her, She is lesbian". Banta singh "Lesbian or no lesbian, I get all of them" and he stylishly holding his whiskey in his left hand walked to her table. Then leaping forward in a very sexy voice he said, "Where exactly in Lesbia, you from?  

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Did you hear about the surd that stayed up all night to see where the sun went ? It finally dawned on him. A surd was driving down the highway to Disneyland when he saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, he said to himself "oh well !" and turned around and drove home. On his way home the same surd drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time he drove eight miles, he had cleaned 43 restrooms.

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Santa Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone. "Is this one one one one?", says the voice. "No, this is eleven eleven." "Are you sure it isn't one one one one?" "No, this is eleven eleven." "Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the night." "That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."

A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, 'Wash Basin'".  

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Once Santa Singh broke his leg when he threw his cigarette butt down the manhole and tried to step on it.  

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Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn't light. He tried another. It wouldn't light. The third one finally lit. He lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket."What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?" "That's a good match.I'll use it again."  

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A sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing The bystander A Marathon race is going on

Sardar : What do they get from that?

Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel called back."

One sardar came to madras and wanted to do shopping in burma bazaar. His tamilian friend told the sardar that the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price. Sardar went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs. Sardar asked for Rs.1000.vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which sardar told no,no only Rs.900. Vendor told ok, i will give it for 1500Rs for which sardar bargained for Rs.750.it was going on like this when finally vendor out of irritation said he will give the sardar the stereo free of cost. "Our sardar asked whether he will give two."

A Sardarji was in a nightclub in New York, dancing with a beautiful woman. He whispered into her ear, "I love you." She smiled and whispered back, "I love you too!" There was a little pause, the Sardarji was thinking(??!!), then he whispered, "I love you three."

The Sardarji doctor was so afraid of bacteria, that he cooked his ice-cubes before he put them in his drink.

One foggy evening two Sardarjis went out walking. One of the Sardarji was holding a flashlight, and suddenly he said to his friend "Why don`t you just climb up this light-beam when I am holding the flashlight upwards like this?" His friend looked at him and answered, "No, I can`t do that Because if I did, you would just turn off the light, and I would fall down."

There were these two Sardarji twins who looked so incredibly alike, that sometimes they borrowed money from each other without the other really knowing about it.

Then there's the one about the Sardarji who brought his binoculars to a funeral where they were going to bury a distant relative of his...

The Sardarji Doctor to his patient "It`s very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before you feel the pain."

Banta Singh is traveling via train. On his way, he feels the urge to go to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which happens to have a mirror in the front. The sardar thinks there is another sardar bhaiwaal in there, quickly shuts the door and returns to his seat. 5 minutes later he goes again, only to find the same sardar bhaiwaal. An hour passes away, he's made 20 trips to the bathroom, only to find that the same person is still there. So he finally gets ticked off, goes to the last compartment and tells the TC (Ticket Checker) what's been going on. The TC, which also happens to be another Singh, feels bad for him and promises to throw the bum out. The TC walks down to the compartment with the troubled bathroom to get the resident bhaiwaal out. Few minutes later the TC comes back and tell the sardar "I'm sorry, I can't do anything. The guy in there is a railway staff member".

Santa Singh and Banta singh got fed up with Indian Government and decided to blow up the Parliament. They put the plastic explosives in the back seat of their two door maruti and were off to their mission. Santa singh " Bantaiaaya! what if bomb went off right now?" Banta singh "Don't worry! I have got a spare bomb in the trunk."

Santa singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Padne wala gadha"(One who reads it is an ass). Santa singh thought for an hour, erased and wrote back,"Likhene waala gadha" (One who wrote it is an ass).

Banta singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "They should not put up such misleading notices", said Banta singh. "It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE."