[Sardar][Q&A][Pizza][BMW][TO LOOSE WEIGHT][SPARE BOMB][COUNT THE CHICKEN] [ANOTHER COUNT] [ EMPLOYMENT] [AT INDO-PAK WAR][Sardar Jokes Page 2]

You should be sure the person is Sardar when he:

* puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants to makeup his mind. * gets stabbed in a shoot-out.

* sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.

* drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, "Airport left" he turns around and goes home.

Q: HOW DO YOU KEEP A SURD BUSY ALL DAY?

A: Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.

Q:A surd going to London on a plane, how can you steal him window seat?

A: Tell him the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN A SURD THROWS A PIN AT YOU?

A: Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

Q: How do you make a surd laugh on Saturday?

A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

Q: What is the surd doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?

A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Why did the surd stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?

A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

Q: Why do surds work seven days a week?

A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: What did the surd do when he noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?

A: He turned it over and used the other side.

Q: Why did god give surds 2% more brains than horses?

A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.

Q: How do you confuse a surd?

A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: How do you keep a surd in suspense?

A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)

Q: How do you keep a surd busy?

A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q: Why can't surds make ice cubes?

A: They always forget the recipe.

Q: How did the surd try to kill the bird?

A: He threw it off a cliff.

Q: Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?

A: Because under 18 was not allowed!!!

Q: Why do men like surd jokes??

A: Because they can understand them.

Q: What does a surd say when you ask his if his blinker is on?

A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.

Q: What do you get when U offer a surd a penny for his thoughts?

A: Change.

Q: What do you call 10 surds standing ear to ear?

A: A wind tunnel.

Q: What do you call a surd in an institution of higher learning?

A: A visitor.

Q: What do you call a surd with half a brain?

A: Gifted!

Q: What do you call a surd in a tree with a brief case?

A: Branch Manager.

Q: What do you see when you look into a surd's eyes?

A: The back of his head.

Q: What do you do when a surd throes a hand grenade at you?

A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: A surd ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.

A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?

A: A surd parade.

Q: Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?

A: Because below 18 was not allowed.

Q: How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?

A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear.

Q: What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?

A: Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

Q: How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?

A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

Q: What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?

A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Why do Sardars work seven days a week?

A: So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

Q: Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?

A: They always forget the recipe.

Q: How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?

A: He threw it off a cliff.

Q: What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?

A: A wind tunnel.

Q: What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?

A: The back of his head.

Q: What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?

A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?

A: Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).

Q: What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?

A: Just-one Singh.

Q: Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?

A: They think their picture is being taken.

Q: Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?

A: Toes Go In First.

Q: How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?

A: It has a stamp on it.

Q: Why can't Sardar dial 911?

A: They can not find the eleven on the phone.

Q: How do you get Sardar on the roof?

A: Tell him the drinks are on the house.

Q: "Oh, look at the dead bird."

A: Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?

Q: What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?

A: You always hear about them but you never see them.

Q: Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one?

A: You have to hollow out the head.

Q: How can you recognize an surd in a submarine?

A: He is the one with the parachute on his back.

Sardar ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

SARDAR'S BMW

BMW cars were having back mounted engines earlier. Sardar Hari Singh Purchased a new BMW and was driving back to home very happily. On the way the car broke down. Sardarji came out of the car and opened the bonnet, trying to fix up the problem. Immediately began to sweat. By that time Sardar Gani Singh came by that way and saw our sardarji totally confused and sweating, trying to search something inside the bonnet, and asked him what was the matter. Hari Singh: "The BMW people made me fool. They have given me the Car without the engine. "Gani Singh: "Don't worry. I have spare engine in the back of my BMW. You can take that."

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?"asked the doctor. "I'm 2400 kms from home."

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh got fed up with the Indian Govt and decided to blow up the parliament. They took 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off. Hari Singh asks "What happens if the bombs blast off now". Gani Singh says "Don't worry. I have a spare bomb in the back seat"

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh walked toward each other on a country road. Hari Singh carried a burlap bag over his shoulder. "Hey Bhai," Gani Singh drawled, "what's in the bag?" "Chickens," was the reply. "If I guess how many, can I have one?" "You can have both of them." "OK, Five?"  

ANOTHER COUNT! 

Our Sardar is walking down the street and sees a man jumping up and down on a manhole cover yelling "86, 86, 86". He asks the man, "Excuse me, but why are you jumping up and down on this manhole cover and yelling '86, 86, 86'?" The man says, "Well, I can't tell you that, but if you really want to know, I can let you go under there and find out. He thinks for a moment, then his curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, "Okay." The man lifts the manhole cover, He steps into the manhole, and the man puts the manhole cover back and starts jumping up and down on it yelling "87, 87, 87"...  

Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary Expected. He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote, Yes.

Once in the Indo Pakistan war, Pakistan was fighting fiercely and capturing everything in sight. A sikh camp called Gurudwara hideout was crucial to defend from the pakistanis as it contained all the defence secrets. The pakistani forces surrounded the base and the sikhs had thought that they had lost the battle but, suddenly out of the bushes jumps Cptn. Hari Singh wearing a Maachar dani!(mosquito net) He Pulls out his AK-47 rifle and fires like mad. The pakistanis run off quickly. The next day Hari Singh gets a medal. His freinds ask him "Yaar thu maachar daani kyon pehenke gaya tha? "Hari Singh replies "Maachar daani itni patli hote hain ki agar maachar nahin ghus sakte, goli kahan se ghussenghi? In the following war Hari Singh retires and his son Gani Singh (No Assumptions Please!) joins the army. Pakistanis are again surrounding the Gurudwara hideout, the sikhs again think they've lost the war but out of the bushes erupts Gani Singh wearning nothing he tries do shoo away the pakistanis like his father did but instead gets shot. In the hospital his friends tell him "aare yaar, therre bap me tho itni akal thi ki vo maachar daani pehin ke gaya tha,aur tu nunga chale gaya" Gani Singh replies "aare yaar main tho odomos lage ke gaya tha"!